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We name our squirrels. Harry Peanut was a young gray squirrel with a bounce in his step and a very particular way of approaching a peanut; examining it, turning it, deciding. But the thing I remember most about him is that he was a leader.

Every day, I watched Harry climb the dogwood in our front yard, leap through the air to catch a thin branch of the maple, sometimes hanging upside down for a long second, then run through the tree to wherever he was going next.

He didn’t do it alone.

Young squirrels followed him up the dogwood to watch him make the jump. One black squirrel with a rust-red tail, whom we called Crazy Tail, climbed up, looked at the gap between trees, turned around, and ran back down.

You could almost hear her: Nope. Too scary.

But Harry stayed. He perched on that thin branch and waited. He didn’t scold. He didn’t leave. He simply waited until Crazy Tail came back up the dogwood and made the leap herself.

Sometimes a squirrel would jump from the wrong spot and barely catch the maple. I gasped out loud more than once. Harry would demonstrate again. And again, if he needed to.

Harry was also the squirrel who taught everyone — squirrels and birds alike — that peanuts were food. Before Harry, peanuts sat untouched. After Harry, the cardinals came. The nuthatches. The titmice. The woodpeckers. The Blue Jays, of course, who act like they invented the idea.

One small leader changed an entire community of beings who don’t even share a species.

That’s the part I keep coming back to.

Who do we follow?

There’s a strange theory floating around, held even by some scientists, that the negative is more powerful than the positive. That bad news outweighs good news. That fear runs deeper than love.

When I first heard it, I wanted to dismiss it as nonsense.

From a spiritual perspective, it is nonsense. Love is the underlying nature of all that is. Nothing has more power than that.

But then I had to be honest. The reason researchers reach that conclusion is because they’re measuring us.

Our habits. What we repeat. What we click on. What we share. What we whisper about at the grocery store.

***The studies suggest it takes roughly four positive things to outweigh one negative thing in the human mind.

Four to one.

That’s not a statement about the power of negativity. It’s a statement about where we’ve been pointing our attention.

And here’s the spiritual truth underneath all of it: what we follow, we feed.

What we feed, we become.

What we become, we hand to the next person watching us, whether we meant to or not.

Someone is always watching.

We live in a moment when there is no shortage of voices asking to be followed.

Algorithms reward outrage. Headlines reward fear. Loud people insist their loudness is leadership. The noise can feel like the only thing that’s real.

But noise is not the same as truth. And volume is not the same as wisdom.

When we look closely — the way I used to watch Harry through the window — we can tell the difference between someone who is leading and someone who is just performing.

A real leader can be recognized by what they demonstrate, not what they declare.

Ask yourself:

• Are they kind, truthful, and acting with integrity?
• Do they put concern for others ahead of concern for themselves?
• Do they lead from a place of unity that welcomes difference, or do they demand sameness and create separation?
• Do they have the courage to be patient?
• Are they flexible enough to listen, and humble enough to be changed by what they hear?
• Do they admit their mistakes, or do they reach for someone to blame?

These are not political tests. They are spiritual ones.

They work in a boardroom, a kitchen, a classroom, or a comment section. They work whether you’re choosing a president or choosing who to listen to over coffee.

Harry didn’t shout. Harry didn’t insist that anyone follow him. He just kept climbing the tree and making the leap, day after day, until the others figured out they could do it too.

That’s what real leadership looks like. It is quiet. It is patient. It waits on the branch.

And here’s the part we forget: we are all on that branch.

Even if you think no one is watching, someone is. A child. A neighbor. A coworker. A stranger reading something you posted. The friend who hears the tone of your voice when you talk about the world.

You are leading right now, whether you signed up for it or not.

So the question isn’t really "should we lead?"

The question is, what are we leading people toward?

Toward fear, or toward love? Toward separation, or toward kinship? Toward outrage, or toward clarity? Toward the noise, or toward the truth underneath it?

Four positive things to outweigh one negative thing. That’s not a burden. That’s an assignment we get to accept.

Four moments of kindness. Four words of encouragement. Four times, we choose curiosity over contempt. Four leaps from the dogwood to the maple, patiently demonstrated until someone else realizes they can leap too.

We can follow the Harrys of life.

And — this is the part that matters most — we can be the Harrys of life.

Someone is watching the branch. Let’s give them something worth following.

PS: The Quarterly Perception Shift will move you in the direction of your highest self, so when people follow you, and they will, you are leading the way to something better. I hope you'll join me!👇

Not a course. A compass.

You can't control what's happening out there. But you can know yourself so clearly and so deeply that nothing out there can move you off course. That kind of knowing doesn't expire. You carry it into every decision, every hard season, every moment of doubt. The Quarterly Perception Shift will give you that. One hour. Four times a year. Monthly Reminders. A lifetime of returning to what's true.

How To Experience Consistent Happiness

For all life gardeners, I want to put one of my favorites back in your hands today: Blooming Your Life.

It's the book I wrote for anyone who's ever wondered why happiness can feel so close and so far away at the same time.

Inside are the seven steps you can follow, season after season — deciding to be happy, putting yourself where you grow best, moving when you need to, feeding yourself well, trusting your own timing, expecting to bloom, and celebrating the unique bloom that you are.

If you haven't read it yet, this might be the week. And if it's already on your shelf, maybe it's time to open it again — gardens, after all, are never done.

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